Great and Grand Teton Teaser

(Click the link. It's totally worth it.)

Being a fan of my friends, I was pleasently surprised to hear from Summers today. I don't expect to hear from him often, and it's good to know that he's alive and doing well. The message was quite simple. We're climbing the Grand Teton again this year. Nothing will turn us back, unless it's really bad weather again, but we'll just go up the next day. Girls, you should know now, that I like it on top . . . of the Grand Teton.

Summers has been running his tail off in Florida. I've been climbing rocks in Utah. I think they should have us on mythbusters to prove that living in high altitude makes your lungs more efficient than actually exercising at low altitudes. I'll write in to the producers. I also have some ideas for Dirty Jobs, but I'll save them for another blog.

If you've never seen the Tetons, here's your chance. I'm pretty much amazing with Google Maps, so here you go. Click on the photo to be taken to my customized map of the Tetons complete with a few of the pictures from our previous two summit attempts. Click on each of the placemarks, the red pins, and the pictures will appear. All the locations are aproximate, but you get to see some amazing scenery from the trail. All photos taken by yours truly.

(Summers and I made it to the summit in Sept. 2005, but our group of four, Summers, Joseph Griffin, Jason Miller, and myself, were turned around by storm clouds apx. 600 feet from the top in Sept. 2006.)

An Odd Odyssey

I'm almost ready. I want t o embark on my travels soon. Today I picked up two East-Coast, "Baaastan"-accented fellows who had hitchhiked from Connecticut to Salt Lake City and were on their way to Craters of the Moon. They had long scragly beards and looked like a couple of gnomes or maybe vikings. I hope that my friends will guide me to better places than a huge lava flow in the middle of nowhere, Idaho, but I'm so inspired and oddly jealous of these people. I know I'm going to go, it's just a matter of when. At present, my plan is to have as little plan as possible. I'm going to go to Montana next weekend for sure. I think it will be a little test of my resolve. Problem is, I've never been one to dip my toes. I like to find the biggest cliff and get a run. I like to make a splash.

If you've never read Jon Krakuer's Into the Wild, you should. Now, no one freak out. I have no death wish. I'm not going to donate all of my savings to charity and go off to starve to death in a bus. His courage to go out and do what he knew would make him happy is beyond inspirational. I want to shed the expectations of society for a while. My wild will probably consist of national parks and climbing destinations, not the Alaskan tundra. Still, I'm going to go live in the wild. I'm going to go blog in the wild.

If any of my friends read this and is going somewhere interesting, please take me with you. I'll provide good entertainment, deep tissue massage and when possible a pinch of gas money. Hitchhiking is always better with friends.

Movie Madness

I'm not really mad. I'm just bugged. When I was a teenager, thirteenish, I decided that movies at the theater were a big waste. You pay too much, It's uncomfortably crowded, you can't pause or rewind, and you supposedly can't bring your own treats.

The Lion King was the last straw for me. I was 13. I swore off movies for quite some time until my true weakness, girls, convinced me to go see Titanic. (okay, I need a picture of someone barfing) That pretty much got me back on the wagon, or off the wagon (see Seinfield).

I recently saw Transformers and then last night I went to the newest Harry Potter. Total yawnfests. At least Transformers was pathetic enough that I could entertain myself by mocking the poor acting. I was in no mood for Harry's weak-ass Frodo imitations last night. That Umbridge lady is a retard, and Hermoine won't be 18 and lustable for at least another year.

That was a big lead up to not a whole lot. I was going to list all the other fun activities that you can do instead of wasting your time and money on 2 hours of boredom in the theaters, but I'm sure you can think of a couple hundred things yourself. Besides, I've heard theres a lot of fecal matter that resides in theater seats. You need a better reason than that? (where's that barf icon again?)

The advent of technology

I've decided to tone down my font size a little. For all of you who have to wear glasses to read my blog now, tuff luck.

Just sitting here, I was marveling at wireless internet which allows me to go out and check on the bratwurst that I'm cooking without interrupting the many conversations I'm having with people, both near and far, on instant messenger. As I begin feeling more adventurous, I realize what a time travel my life is about to take. By show of hands, who remembers busy signals, writing down/memorizing phone numbers, phone books, an the myriad of other bulky communication tools we used to use. People used to send letters to communicate. Even missionaries in other countries could put a piece of paper in another folded piece of paper, apply some special stickers, and it would find it's way around the world to their parents' house.

I'm sure I could make a list of the top thingamajiggers that have changed the way we live, but someone else already did it. I haven't seen it, or even really know that, but google knows all. Try it and see.

Here's just a few that I wanted to note:
Walmart - One stop shopping was coined by Fred Meyer, but perfected by the big red white and blue symbol of modern America. Bitch all you want about how it's driven your friend's boomerang shop down on the corner out of business. Walmart is here to stay, and we all love the convenience of buying bananas, building supplies, bb guns and bamboozles in the same place. If Walmart doesn't have it, you don't need it. Frankly, you don't need most of the stuff Walmart has.

Cell phones- Yeah, yeah, go a day with out your cell, and see how naked you feel. Try memorizing phone numbers. Even if you had to use a pay phone, would you know your girlfriend, mom, or best friend's phone number? I don't.

Internet, of course - What time is that movie playing? What's the pizza place's phone number? Where does Mick Jagger live? How would we answer any of these questions without the internet. Google and Wikipedia are extremely useful. How would I be able to track the lives of 101 of my good friends without myspace? Letters? I don't think so.

The technology keeps advancing. The internet went from 28.8 modems and guitar tabs to watching live Nascar races. Incredible. What's next? Remember when Mike Teavee teleports himself on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? I don't think we're that far off. Give it another 25 years. Airplanes will be obsolete, and we'll just teleport around the world. Can you imagine all the tourists in Yellowstone? What a nightmare.

Funny Family

That's my little sister. She's funny.

Fire on the Mountain

Well, I hope everyone had a safe and fun Fourth of July. That goes for both of you who actually read my blog. :) I presume that on the night of the 3rd, some poor soul was lighting fireworks off near Bells Canyon, and it seems they lost a little control.

You could see the fire from Bangerter Highway all the way out on the west side. I drove home and grabbed my camera, extra low on batteries, and cruised over to the church where droves of firefighters, police, and rubberneckers had gathered.

Sans tripod, the photos mostly came out blurry. Not that I'm an expert photographer or anything, but I did get one good shot of a rust-colored moon.

The 4th was fun. I went swimming, had a barbecue, and watched fireworks. Thanks to all the people that I hung out with. It's not that I'll look back and think, "Damn, July 4, 2007 was the best Independence Day ever." No, it probably wasn't, but it was good, and it's already got me looking forward to the climax of summer next year.

There are Stupid Questions

I just can't get it through my thick skull. Don't ask anyone what he or she is doing for the 4th of July. "What are you doing on the fourth?" is a stupid question. The answer is always "watching fireworks and maybe a barbecue. " For some reason, it seems to be the question on my mind today. I bet I asked it to a dozen people. Maybe I was just looking for one person to come up with something original, but why? Really, what holiday is better than Independence day? What activities are more fun than barbecues, fireworks and rodeos? What nation's birthday is better than our nation's?

Before I get into how much I love the United States, let me just say that there is a good number of other stupid questions. The answer is the same every time, and the questions are asked for no other purpose than to make conversation:
What did you talk about at church? God, Jesus, Scriptures. What do you think we talked about?
How was the funeral? Sad.
Do you want to go out sometime? No.

Okay, rodeos, fireworks, barbeque, parades, neighbors, flags, The United States. The 4th of July is wonderful. Be grateful this year, and remember the veterans and the forefathers. They did great things for us. Exercise your freedom, and do your patriotic duties. Be proud to be an American.

The great and grand Gregories

Tonight I'll take a minute to brag about the best friends a guy like me could have. The Gregories are it. Dependable, trustworthy thinkers, we should all be glad that these guys' ancestors and their relatives lined up two to one on the side of the Union.

Sam Gregory and I served our mission together and we were companions in the area call Las Brisas, Zona 6 de Mixco, Guatemala, Guatemala. A fine area, worthy of it's own blog, though it will never get it. Sam and I enjoyed our three and a half months together as companions, even though I stubbornly insisted on being a gung-ho knock doors 'till we bleed missionary. Sam had a lot better and broader view of what it meant to be a missionary in Guatemala, and made sure we didn't go crazy. We did however steal a dinosaur off the roof of the house next to ours. That was crazy.Hey Sam, you still wear those shorts . . . get some new shorts.

Sam and I pretty much lost contact until a few years after we'd both been home. When I got a job at Wall Machinery, I had oodles of time to google. I got in touch with a lot of people during that time that I hadn't talked to in quite some time. Sam just happened to be the best one. Summer of 2005 we ticked off more than a dozen slot canyon descents, usually accompanied by Sam's wife Masiel, Sam's Brother and his wife, Devan and Ginny, and Jason Summers rounded out the usual adventure team. Sadly, we lost Summers early in the year 2006. We'll get him back someday.


So it's Sam and Masiel, Devan and Ginny, and me. At the risk of making myself sound like a big loser, I have to say that if the Gregories weren't around, I don't know what I'd do with myself. This summer has turned into the summer of climbing, but we canyoneer, watch movies, swim, and laugh it up. Sam and Devan haven't convinced me to join them in their WOW escapades, but we pretty much do everything else together. Whether out of sympathy or love, the girls are always trying to find me dates and new girls to hang out with. All in all, I don't know if there's a finer pair of brothers and their wives to be had.

Sam is stone cold and usually lost in thought, no doubt planning his next brutal assasination. His wife Masiel is as kind as a saint, yet stunningly sexy.

Devan is high-strung and ready for anything at a moment's notice, as long as he's not tired and looking for a place to lie down for a while. His wife Ginny is a fox, but she fears lightning, submarines, and the wrath of God. She acts accordingly.

So if you meet a Gregory, trust that man with your life. I've done it many times and never regretted it yet.

Stacking Stones (AKA sticks and stones may break my bones)

Therapy, it's something that everyone needs in varying degrees. My car got smashed, I can't seem to get a decent date (probably because of the car), and frankly, I'm a little lost in life. I need me a lot of therapy.

It seems like every Saturday I play hard, really hard. I wake up mid-morning Sunday with a mild headache and sore muscles. That's okay, because that means that Saturday's therapy worked. Saturday therapy usually consists of:

Climbing


Canyoneering


Biking


Hiking


And other notably draining activities.

Honestly, I don't have a ton of energy left for Sunday, but I have to take advantage of it as best I can. Those who think poorly of what I do on Saturdays can just quit reading now. I'm going to show you what I do on Sundays. Yes, I stand in the icy-cold water that flows out of Utah's beautiful canyons and I pile rocks on top of one another. It actually takes me quite a while and the tall stacks are very difficult. I like to use really big rocks.

Single stacks of rocks could get a little boring, so it's important to mix it up sometimes. Little Cottonwood Canyon is my favorite place to do this since I can usually find some solitude, but I've built them in Big Cottonwood Canyon, American Fork Canyon, and a couple other places. Besides balancing the rocks, I would say that standing in flowing water for an hour at a time is the most difficult part. I don't suppose that any of this is going to get me a scholarship, a job, or even a pat on the back, but I sure feel good when I get done and look with a smile on my green vandalism/artistic therapy.