The Tuna Review

I've never been a tuna kinda guy. Honestly, I don't really care for it now, but having gone from a healthy income to a ways below the poverty line for sanity's sake, sacrifices had to be made.
(how'd you like that alliteration?) Tuna is bearable, and it's good for me. I'm not one to add a bunch of mayo or sauce it up. Pepper is plenty to mask the fact that I'm eating the canned Pisces that I've always despised. I usually eat about a can a day, so that's 37.5 grams of protein, 2.5 grams of delicious fat, and a big fat goose egg in the carb category. Granted, it's followed by some crackers and probably a healthy drowning in soda, but the tuna itself is mighty good.

I'll just skip the "chunk light" category. I'm not going to eat the lips and butts of fish just because cow lips and butts taste spectacular all rolled up in a Maverik bahama mama hot dog. Besides, the solid white albacore tuna is better in both taste and quality than any canned chicken I've ever had. Just avoid the envelope packaging altogether. Even the albacore in the flat packages is horrific. Stick to cans.

All the albacore can usually be purchased for just under a dollar a can if bought on sale or at Costco, so price is irrelevant. We'll just stick to quality and taste.

The worst - Starkist:
Texture is consistent with oatmeal or chunk tuna. I don't know how they can claim that it is solid white albacore. This brand is best avoided, even if you find it on sale. Don't be tricked by the nerdy fish in the beret. He's a bad, bad fish.






Pretty good - Chicken of the Sea:
Texture is usually good, and you get the occasional solid-fillet-surprise upon lifting the lid. I look forward to popping the lid and seeing one big chunk of fish almost as much as I anxiously awaited waffles that stuck the the top of the waffle iron in my youth. The name is not deceiving. Chicken of the Sea is good and it goes down well. Also notable is moisture content. Even though you squeeze that lid hard enough to crush skittles, this tuna retains just about the right amount of moisture. Not too shabby.





Completely bearable - Bumblebee Tuna:
Great Texture, good taste, decent moisture content, almost always gives the solid-fillet-surprise. Just pepper and go. Sometimes you can actually see the grill marks on the fish. This is the way to eat canned seafood.


I hope you haven't been bored to tears, though I'm sure that hope is in vain. Get some more protein in your diet. BTW, all three claim to be dolphin friendly since April 1990.