I'm not really mad. I'm just bugged. When I was a teenager, thirteenish, I decided that movies at the theater were a big waste. You pay too much, It's uncomfortably crowded, you can't pause or rewind, and you supposedly can't bring your own treats.
The Lion King was the last straw for me. I was 13. I swore off movies for quite some time until my true weakness, girls, convinced me to go see Titanic. (okay, I need a picture of someone barfing)
That pretty much got me back on the wagon, or off the wagon (see Seinfield).I recently saw Transformers and then last night I went to the newest Harry Potter. Total yawnfests. At least Transformers was pathetic enough that I could entertain myself by mocking the poor acting. I was in no mood for Harry's weak-ass Frodo imitations last night. That Umbridge lady is a retard, and Hermoine won't be 18 and lustable for at least another year.
That was a big lead up to not a whole lot. I was going to list all the other fun activities that you can do instead of wasting your time and money on 2 hours of boredom in the theaters, but I'm sure you can think of a couple hundred things yourself. Besides, I've heard theres a lot of fecal matter that resides in theater seats. You need a better reason than that? (where's that barf icon again?)
7 comments:
Who craps their pants at movie theaters? I thought you just said no modern movie is good enough for that kind of reaction. I remember Pee-Wee Herman getting caught doing something else in his (or out of?) his pants at a theater, but I'm pretty sure they gave his seat a good vacuuming afterward.
The only excuse I can give this incredibly brash and unladylike response is that I was badly influenced by your vomiting icon.
We're putting feces on our faces
Oh Price..I take issue with this.
I avoided the theater for about 10 years (till E.T. was re-released..that brought me out).
I find a certain magic in being bathed in the soft light, 3 weeks after release (when you are likely to be alone). Of course I hate the cost, the loss of productivity, the post-film groginess, cleaning the poo out of my pants, but I do like the occasional diversion.
Yeah I saw the Oprah where the investigated all the germs in movie theaters. Lots and lots of poos on the seats. She said you should NEVER wear a skirt or shorts to the theater.
I haven't seen a movie for quite some time. I miss it at times. But it is nice to pause and rewind when the movie shows up on HBO a few months later.
Hahaha, it's a good thing then that I only put very small amounts of feces on my face....I think my biggest risk is lip gloss. No one wants to lick fecal matter, no matter how cute and perky it makes them. Usually.
As for Oprah, I don't know what ghetto she did that study in, but I bet it was somewhere next to a Taco Bell. I think my biggest risk in a northern Utah theater would be sitting in spilled baby formula.
In all fairness, I would rather put poo on my face than see most of the films coming out these days.
People should read this.
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